Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness

In grad school, we read a book by Robert Bolton called People Skills. It was a very easy read and I took away at least one very important concept: one can be assertive without being aggressive.

Personally, I still struggle with this as I often feel I am being assertive when others find me aggressive. Awareness is the first step. Beyond that I have found that many people are quite passive and do not ask for what they want. Assertiveness is quite positive and allows one to speak up for themselves by simply explaining what they desire or expect from a specific situation or person.

I have seen the awareness in movies and TV shows recently where a character decides to not be walked all over, but rather asserts themselves for their own personal benefit. It is always a glorious moment where you see a transformation in the character.

I am not advocating aggressiveness, but I am promoting assertiveness. Check in with yourself and see how it feels to really ask for what you want. Let me know how it goes.